Back from the dead as they say although after what I’ve been through in the last 12-18 months comparing anything to being dead seems insensitive to myself and probably a whole bunch of other people.

I lay here at 2:10am writing this entry because I want to post regularly again. I need to be creative and to write again. Not just write but read and contribute to the commentary that is on social media and that is the unusual life we lead in 2019.

I have so many things to say whether they’re sane or not, make sense or not or even matter to anyone but me. So why not put them all on here and give strangers the chance to read along and judge fiercely.

As the beautifully written and sung Panic! At The Disco song goes “things have changed for me, and that’s ok.” In the last 18 months I have gone through a whole lot of changes. Mentally, physically, emotionally. More than I’d care for but it all seems necessary when you look for the bigger picture. The bigger picture is still blurry but that’s ok, I hope this year is a year for greatness and gratitude, for adventures and memories and laughing. You can’t have the good without the bad which I am quite aware of so I don’t doubt I’ll have my fair share of both.

Let all make a promise together, we (as a group) promise to create when we are happy sad mad disappointed elated disgusted triggered bright meek energised and fed up. We promise to try our best even when our best is only just holding on (or not at all) we promise to REACH OUT FOR THE HELP WE NEED and live the life we want.

Pinky promise me ok?

Until next time!

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Old Photographs part 3

Hi, hey, hello! I’m sorry I’ve been a bit MIA lately, I’ve been letting the stress of life and other issues get me down. It’s not productive or positive. It’s disheartening and overwhelming. I hope you can all forgive me with late entries. My mothers anniversary of her death was on the weekend and it’s generally a hard day for me, this year was the 4th year without her. It’s not something I want to dwell on physically but mentally it drains me for a while. Lots of emotions and memories all flood back you know. 

I thought I’d lighten things up with an old photograph entry because they’re always a good way to share a hobby of mine and my Twitter followers always vote highly of them in my polls.  These are a mix from Adelaide, Melbourne ans Brisbane. I hope you enjoy! 

Thank you for viewing this entry and I hope you’ve enjoyed these! I hope to continue to share lots of my old photographs with you all. I love capturing life and as soon as I can I’ll be taking more and uploading them for you all. 

My gratefuls are: 

  1. I’m grateful for my gut instincts. For trusting in myself. It’s a journey but I am getting there. 
  2. I am grateful for my Dad. Although I’m not sure he fully understands what mental health issues I deal with he always finds the right words of advice to give me. 
  3. I am grateful that my rent is paid for a fortnight and my fridge/pantry are full. 

Until next time. Talk soon x 

Here’s to The Weekend! 

Hi, hey, hello! I though as I’m trying to get together a few other entries (my daily make up routine, my carer story) I would give you all a playlist of mine. Welcoming the weekend, this will have a huge mix of songs. I love music and I always have. It’s played a HUGE part in my life! Remembering dancing in the lounge room to Michael Bublè with my mum to recording tapes of a “radio show” my cousin and I made up with our favourite songs in between us talking.I listen to SUCH a variety of different artists and it always sets the mood, creates emotions and can be so, so powerful. I believe it can save you from your darkest times, I believe it can be your driving force. You’re never alone if you have the right soundtrack. 
Here are a few of my must have songs for a BBQ/House Party/Sunday sesh! (In alphabetical order!) 

  • Work REMIX by ASAP FERG 
  • LSD by ASAP ROCKY 
  • Wild for the Night by ASAP ROCKY 
  • Stun by ALASKA THUNDERFUCK 
  • Right Now by ALLDAY 
  • Hands on Me by ARIANA GRANDE 
  • Love Shack by B52s
  • 7/11 by BEYONCE
  • Flawless by BEYONCE
  • Sorry by BEYONCE
  • Party by BEYONCE
  • Can You Feel My Heart by BRING ME THE HORIZON
  • Drown by BRING ME THE HORIZON  
  • That’s What I Like by BRUNO MARS 
  • Something just like This by CHAINSMOKERS 
  • Sweatpants by CHILDISH GAMBINO 
  • Cake By the Ocean by DNCE 
  • ONE dance by DRAKE 
  • Fergalicious by FERGIE 
  • Again by FETTY WAP 
  • Work from Home by FIFTH HARMONY 
  • Never be Like You by FLUME 
  • My song 5 by HAIM 
  • Kiwi by HARRY STYLES 
  • Mo Bounce by IGGY AZALEA 
  • All Time Low by JON BELLION 
  • Mercy by KANYE WEST 
  • DNA by KENDRICK LAMAR 
  • Humble by KENDRICK LAMAR 
  • Money Trees by KENDRICK LAMAR
  • Swimming Pools by KENDRICK LAMAR 
  • Strip that Down by LIAM PAYNE 
  • My generation by LIMP BIZKIT 
  • Touch by LITTLE MIX 
  • Green Light by LORDE 
  • Cold Water by MAJOR LAZER 
  • The way you make me feel by MICHAEL JACKSON 
  • Remember the time by MICHAEL JACKSON 
  • Bad & Boujee by MIGOS 
  • Lovesick by MURA MASA 
  • 1 Night by MURA MASA 
  • Fuck the Police by NWA 
  • Anaconda by NICKI MINAJ
  • Feeling Myself by NICKI MINAJ 
  • Only by NICKI MINAJ 
  • Big Poppa by NOTORIOUS BIG 
  • Hypnotize by NOTORIOUS BIG 
  • Hard Times by PARAMORE 
  • Told you So by PARAMORE 
  • Misery Business by PARAMORE 
  • Chameleon by PNAU 
  • Work by RIHANNA 
  • Birthday Cake by RIHANNA 
  • Alive with the Glory of Love by SAY ANYTHING 
  • So good by SAY ANYTHING 
  • Collard Greens by SCHOOLBOY Q
  • Low by TODRICK HALL 
  • Talking Body by TOVE LO 
  • Purple Lamborghini by RICK ROSS 
  • Heathens by TWENTY ONE PILOTS 
  • Can’t Trust Thots by WASH 
  • Nobody’s Better by Z 
  • Pillow talk by ZAYN 
  • Stay The Night by ZEDD 

Now this isn’t my be all end all playlist but it’s one I have for my feel good times! A mix of everything thrown in is always good. I hope you like it! I stand by all these songs. 

Let me know your go to songs in the comments! 

My gratefuls for today are:

  1. I’m grateful for my close friends and family. They always want the best for me and try and include me in things even if I can’t make it or do it. I almost never feel left out. 
  2. I’m grateful for my health. It’s not the best but I am healthy and alive. With some bad health news for people in my family this week I am so grateful for being ok. I’m sending all my love to them in such difficult times. 
  3. I’m grateful for my hearing! Because without it I wouldn’t be able to embrace music and have something to turn to in hard times. 

Until next time. Talk soon x 

Through My Lens part 2 

Hi, hey, hello! Today is a fun little entry of old photographs of mine. It seemed to be popular last time so I thought I’d add some more. 

Like I said before I shoot with a Canon 600D   

I hope you enjoy these photographs as much as I do! 

Until next time! Talk soon x